So...after my husband read my last blog post, he informed me I needed an editor. Lovely. Yes, I must admit the fact that he was such a grammatical genius attracted me when I met him. Now...not so much. Ha! I shall try to edit this post a little more thoroughly. :)
Transparent moment: I love people, but they annoy me...seriously.
I have thought about running away to a deserted island several times over the last few weeks where I wouldn't have to deal with people. You probably think it can't possibly be that bad and you're probably right. But whatever...I didn't ask you. (Have I told you that sarcasm is one of my spiritual gifts.)
I have been learning a lot about what it means to have "soul integrity" lately. It's okay to say no to activities, even good ones, because you just want to hang out with your husband and kids and eat burgers and watch tennis. It's okay to take a break from the 27 loads of laundry that need to be done to write a blog post because it feeds your soul. It's okay to love to dress up and feel pretty in a casual environment. And it's always okay to wear high heels whenever you feel like it (I'm almost positive when the first pair was created, God looked down from heaven and said, "It is good").
But mostly, soul integrity has to do with being honest with yourself. Honest about how you feel. Why you feel that way. What annoys you. What are your true desires. We are so good at lying to ourselves and making excuses to ourselves. And sometimes we've been doing this for so long we don't even realize it.
Soul integrity is really just about getting real with yourself so God can work. I believe the more soul integrity we have the easier it is for the Spirit to change us and make us more like Jesus. Because isn't that our goal...to become more like Christ. The more like Him we can become, the more others will see Him and know Him.
In my heart of hearts I just want to magnify Him, by definition...make Him easier to see. The glory of any created thing is directly tied to whether or not it's fulfilling the purpose God designed for it. Our purpose is to bring God glory. So in everything I do, including dealing with all those annoying people, I want to show Christ, and Him be glorified.
Does this always happen? I'm afraid not. This becoming is quite a process and requires much dying to self, which is not always easy for us humans. Thanks to the whole "sin nature" thing we have going on, selfishness is easier for us. And just when we think we have learned and prayed and confessed enough...one of those annoying people does something completely stupid. The only way we know the change is real and the Holy Spirit is working is to have it tested out in our relationships. I am so thankful we don't rely on our own abilities.
I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed. I’ll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. Ezekiel 36:25-27
We are all learning and growing. I want to write more about what God has been teaching me about relationships and people on Thursday...or maybe Friday...
Domestic duties are calling. Be encouraged today friends, that we have a new heart and His Spirit to make it through the difficult moments.